The Greasy Reaper thrives on a diet of fried food and energy drinks. Often identified by the rich oily waft of high calorie crud and the proud display of a well-maintained rat’s tail.
The Reaper has no qualms with smashing down a chiko roll, dim sims and a crumbed cheese sausage for breakfast on the train. This healthy start is often balanced out with a lunch of high quality pies and or sausage rolls (le’ sausage rolls in France) and the finest fried chicken in the evening.
A picture of health, The Greasy Reaper has been known to perform high aerobic activities such as light speed text messaging and car-park burnout marathons. Can you smell what The Reaper’s cooking? (Snags).
The Oracle can predict the future and recount the past – often in a slurred tongue. Don’t be alarmed by the faint waft of booze or the presence of birdseed in his beard; The Oracle is the realest deal this side of Rockingham. One only has to spend a short train trip with The Oracle to know ‘what’s really going on’.
“They turn the air off in these trains. They do. They’re trying to save money. They don’t use none of that regular air in here neither. They use chemical air shipped in from overseas. I wrote the Premier a letter demanding they turn the air back on and also complaining about the size of Giant Sandwiches. They’ve shrunk! I haven’t got a response yet – I reckon I scared him. He knows I’m on his trail! I know the truth. Probably going to make a documentary about it. I’ll get Arnold Schwarzenegger to play me. Actually I might make it into a song, once you get on the airwaves you become invincible. You can’t kill sound”.
Fueled on a diet of Lean Cuisine, salami, and the cheapest instant coffee -The Bat Faced Prince (Kevin from Kardinya) keeps an ever-vigilant eye on the mean streets of southern suburbia.
Preferring the modesty of public transport to the flashiness of a private vehicle (secondhand 1980 Corolla), The Bat Faced Prince can be seen riding the lines most afternoons.
While maintaining anonymity through civilian dress such as tracksuit pants and Hulk Hogan T-shirts the Prince is able to monitor the movements of potential crims like a lumpy shadow of justice. Fare evaders and those that water outside allocated hours beware! The Bat Faced Prince is not scared to make a stand (in the guise of an anonymous call to the authorities). Justice!